Adjusting our mindset
“Mindset was the biggest preparation for us. We talked ALOT about our childhoods, our upbringing, our parents. What we hope to carry on, what we hope to leave behind. Understanding how our childhood has shaped certain reactions and beliefs, becoming aware of them.
I’m a psychology major and work as a birth doula, so I feel I’m pretty proactive in this area. Fraser is grateful to follow my lead and meets me in it.
I major in gender, so I feel that’s been a potent theme in conversation. Breaking down the gender stereotypes of what this experience will be and I think, through all of this, an unexpected gift has been the ongoing practice of communication. It’s an ever evolving challenge but I feel like we understand one another and can communicate much more effectively now than 3 years ago (when we could have started trying). We wanted that to be second nature so we could continue it in the tougher times postpartum.
We speak a lot about what kind of parents we hope to be, what we expect from each other and the relationship, how to prioritise the relationship, what’s important for the journey for each of us, what support will we be putting in place.
There’s a lot we can do to prepare, but at the same time we are conscious of all that is out of our control, and surrendering to the journey from the very beginning.”
“A stress-reduced and present approach to living was a goal of ours, so we began our own businesses thinking ahead of the possibilities it brings for our family life… (we work too much and live too little in our modern world)”
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